How Long Do You Live After Stopping Dialysis?

My dad lived 19 days after stopping dialysis. He was not in any pain or physical discomfort during that time.

Every One’s Situation is Different

When my dad decided to stop dialysis, I searched the internet to find out how long we could expect him to live. I had heard it could take several days to several months “depending.” So if you’re looking for that same answer, keep in mind that not every one lives a given length of time after stopping dialysis. How long they live depends on how much kidney function they still have (which may maintains the blood chemistry levels longer) and whether they have other health problems. It also depends on what they eat and how much they eat during that time. In my dad’s case, he had nausea and didn’t feel like eating. So he didn’t eat very much at all, mostly drank orange juice and water. Swelling was minimal and he had urine output of less than 1/4 cup a day.

Relatively Easy Way to Die

One thing my dad was scared of as he got older was being kept alive. He didn’t want to linger or be on a respirator. His independence was very important to him. He had acute kidney failure and had been on dialysis only 6 months. He hated dialysis. He hated going for treatments at the clinic and he kept deteriorating even with  dialysis. He lost from 183 pounds to less than 120 pounds in 6 months, much of that in the last 6 weeks. Once he could no longer drive and didn’t have the energy to do anything but stay home, he decided his quality of life wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to live until his 84th birthday—he stopped dialysis shortly before his 84th birthday and then lived 9 days after. He didn’t suffer at all. It would have been a very easy way to go for him except for the cold he caught.  The cold lasted about a week.

Dying at Home

Dad wanted to die at home, so we three girls took care of him 24/7. With about a week left, he didn’t have the energy to help us move him. So we had his doctor order home hospice care. Hospice was wonderful. The purpose of hospice is to keep the dying person comfortable and pain free. For dad that meant a bath every day and occasional Ativan for agitation. He wasn’t upset about dying, he knew stopping dialysis was the end for him, but some days there were so many visitors he got agitated.

There was no pain for him at all. He was nauseated, but they didn’t attribute the nausea to stopping dialysis. He had reflux problems for years. I don’t know if it was fortunate or unfortunate but my dad’s mind was as sharp as a tack up until the end and we were able to enjoy him until he started sleeping so much the last 2 days.

The last 5 days were very easy for him. He slept more each day and then finally went into a coma-like state about a day before he died, although I am sure he could hear us talking to him. He would squeeze our hand and almost wake up. His lungs filled with fluids and in the end he basically drowned within a minute or so with his girls by his side. It was hard for us to go through, but worth knowing that it was his choice and he didn’t suffer.

Comments

  1. My mum is currently in the nursing home she had her last dialiys 5 days ago .She has ill repairable heart disease so she has decided to die.I just can’t comprehend my life with out my mum.She is 78 and was so full of life until kidney disease caused by dibeates came Along. My main fear is that she will be in pain something I don’t want and couldn’t stand.it was very helpful reading other people’s stories. I just hope her death is quick and pain free it is tearing my heart out watching her go thru this.I know it is her decision and I need to stay strong and support her but its just so very hard.

  2. Michele Murray says:

    My husband was suppose to have dialysis today, but decided not. He was planning on stopping last week, but 15 minutes before heading to dialysis today he said he’s done. Hospice is coming on Monday. He is only 53 (I am 47). His health started declining a little over 4 years ago with absolutely no warning. Diabetes! A silent killer. They were right.y husband was in denial when he was diagnosed about 15 years ago. Needless to say they were right. Congestive Heart Failure, COPD, peripheral neuropathy, ED, depression, chronic pain, amputated toes on both feet. Then came the kidney failure. He started dialysis 3x a week 4 hours each time 15 months ago. Since then he developed more pressure ulcers on his right foot. Eventually needing his leg amputated 3 months ago. Not healing as his new diagnosis of Calciphylaxis. Now his left foot has 2 large pressure ulcers not healing. It too will need to be amputated. My husband said no. I am done fighting. I’m scared but he seems at peace. I pray that he goes peacefully and pain free. To all of you going through this God Bless you!ay God give us all the strength we need to get through this.

  3. janet r p says:

    my husband is 88 yrs old. been in PN dialysis fot 4-1/2 yrs and we stilled lived an active life. within 2 months peritneal started to fail him.
    now on fistula hemo dialysis 3 times a week. he is 98% legally blind. i have been his care giver all thru this. had e lung taps and then lung surgery to remove a large mass while in hospital they found a heart valve had closed . and he is filling with fluid, they want to do heart surgery. had 3 doctors tell us now won’t make it thru surgery. can’t breath because of this. so this week we are going to meet with surgeon for his opinion . but i think JOE has decided to stop dialysis and we are going to contact hospice. we have been married 66 years and joined at the hip. he is the love of my life. how do i give him up??

  4. Paul bruno says:

    Bear in mind from my last post, I’m 54 years old. Never smoked or drank. Have always been in good health. I’m not saying my decision is the right choice for everyone but I feel it is the right choice for me. By someone telling me to think about my kids or my mom or wife…. THATS BEING SELFISH!!!! Those people saying that.. ARENT GOING THROUGH IT 😎 PAUL AGAIN

  5. Rahman, I am going through the exact same thing with my mother. I have been fighting for my mother to continue her dialysis, because that’s what she wants. She doesn’t want to die, but for reasons similar to your mother, the doctors told her she can no longer continue. Your post has brought me some sort of peace. Thank you. God bless.

  6. Penny Colley says:

    Today marks one year since Mum stopped dialysis. We were given a two month prognosis. In the meantime a fall took Mum to hospital and it took a month to discover that she had fractured her patella (knee cap). Mum did not want to start dialysis in Oct 13, but did so for Dad. She has always felt that life on dialysis was a waste of time and would have rathered not to have began at all. Mum has no quality of life, is listless, her hands swell, she has no appetite, she is withdrawn and needs to be turned in bed. The cruelty and torture are a direct result of the prognosis and the expectations of that prognosis. The reality is that Mum’s kidneys have sufficient function that will see her in hospital for maybe quite some time ahead. My Dad suffers depression and guilt and I am running on empty. It was to be a quite, easy exit, but no.

  7. A. Turner says:

    My husband has decided to stop his dialysis 19 days ago. He is not in pain. He sleep a lot. He is 86, my biggest concern is he itch a lot. I have not read where that has happened to anyone else. I was told that the toxic in his body is causing the itching. The hardest thing is not knowing what to expect or do when the time comes. He is at home and with hospice. I am so thankful to God for their support as well as our daughter and son. He has lots of swelling in his feet and cannot walk any longer.
    My prayers are with each of you during your difficult time.

  8. Errol Taylor says:

    I came across this page as I needed to know more about what happens after dialysis. My father who is 75 has been in renal failure for more than 10 years. He has dialysis 3 times a week. He developed prostate problems and also has vascular dementia. His dementia has become markedly worse since christmas and he regularly has falls and ambulances have to attend. My mother has been his carer up to a few weeks ago until we encouraged her to accept outside help. This week his doctor has taken the decision to stop dialysis as my father had another minor stroke on sunday. He is bed bound now and is waiting for a place in a hospice. watching both my father and mother suffer has been the hardest thing to bear. My sister lives very close to them and has her own health issues but she visits every day. All of our emotions are running very high. We all understand that my father’s quality of life is almost zero ( mother’s too ) and has been for some time. We were agonising over how and when to make the decision to stop dialysis until it was taken out of our hands by the doctor. It has been a relief to know that passing will be virtually pain free

  9. maria arriaga de hill says:

    So glad find this place….just read some of the comments…but will read the rest later..my mom is in the final step her kidney stop to work(she had high pressure for about 40 years that demaged her kidneys)..she never wanted dialysis..she is 85 years old…in hospital for one week and in home for a month…no sleep that all…her legs hurt so bad but she wants get up….so sad because she was a very active person…and doctors no give hope…just we waiting for God will….but we found a person who make a special mineral water (AGUA ISOTONICA) and is the last we will try….so for now we just pray for her and for my brother and sister who take care of her….I travel every week to help them…they live in Monterrey Mexico and me in San Antonio,Tx.God bless you all!!

  10. My Dad stopped dialysis 5 days ago, he seems to be ok does`nt look any different still mentally all there hasn`t eaten anything since stopping, i don`t know if he`s trying to starve himself or if he genuinely has no appetite. He just wants to sip lemonade. He has basically been in bed for the last 2 years very depressed with having to do 4 exchanges a day, I totally support his decision, I am struggling with not being with the family as i live 2 hours away in another town and I can`t just tell my work I dont know how long I`ll be off as we have been told it could be days or weeks. Its such a heart wrenching thing to go through, its a waiting game for the enevitable to happen tough for everyone

  11. First…I’VE READ EACH AND EVERYONES POSTING HERE and my love and prayers go out to all of you !
    To you who wrote you just want to go or wished to just die right now, I can only say that I am trying to understand what you are going through and I pray for your wisdom, strength, comfort and peace! I found this site searching for answers because my friend is right now in the same position but out of nowhere it came! She had a cold for 3 days and then could not breath good enough, causing her hubby to bring her to the ER. They immediately admitted her and had to put her in a medical induced coma, saying she only had a 5% chance of surviving due to sepsis and her lungs looking like shred. Her toes and feet turned black over night. Blood transfusions and dialysis while in a 3 week medically induced coma. She improved and everyone was happily shocked. Time to wake her up. During 4 days she slowly woke up and they were able to take the breathing machine off her, too. It’s been a week now and she is laying in that hospital bed weak, confused. Dialysis every 2 days. Blood transfusions still needed twice a week, Doctors say. A physical therapist comes into her room now and moves her legs, sits her up so she can learn to hold her head and lift her arms again. I do not know how long it will take for this physical therapy to work but I’ve heard good things about it. Looking at her, I really wonder how someone can come back to what they were before from this and in her case, no one knows if her kidneys will start working again yet. So, we all hope and wait. She is 60 but was a very healthy and fit, full time working and foster mom of a 13 year old foster daughter for the past 7 years. Her hubby was just laid off work 2 days before Christmas. Their entire family life has been changed in a matter of 3 days….. Her hubby is trying to stay strong and we all pray, pray, pray. I believe strongly that God can heal and perform miracles but I also believe that when we make the wrong choices, the Godly plan of our life to end here on earth may be prolonged due to situations like this one. So, I do not really know what to say or even pray for often. I just tell God…please heal her if it is your will. What else can I do as a Christian? I can not ignore the fact that we all have to go home (to God) at one point and if medical science keeps us alive here on earth longer, well, that is what we are seeing then…..people suffering ? I do not really know. I also do not know what I would do if in a situation like this but having seen my friend now every day since she was hospitalized….I am scared. I see the suffering but I also see some improvement. We do not know what will happen to my friend, yet…. The Doctors keep saying she is improving and we will see… Umm? Ok, so, is she improving to go home at one point and keep on living her normal, daily life or is she improving just to stay alive and will go home or to hospice to be taken care off? We do not know. I do not recognize my friend anymore. There in this hospital bed is not that person that I knew gardening for hours on the weekend. Having a fund TV night with her foster daughter. BBQing with us and laughing. In this hospital bed is a woman with a changed, very low squeeky voice now who can now may be finish one sentence before getting tired. She can not lift her arms or legs or her head. She can lift her hands, yes. She mostly sleeps. Her hubby by her site all day and night. The hospital doing the same thing every day. I am waiting. Waiting for some news on what is going to come or how it will be. Am I impatient? I don’t know. I’ve heard of people coming out of this and living a good life again. Her black toes and feet turned 90% normal again and Doctors say the rest of the dark spots will come up and fall off as dead skin. Whatever that means. In the first week they were talking about amputating her entire legs….ugh. Yes, I am a believer in Christ but yes, I am also scared to see this, know this now and have learned more about this now. What would I do? Knowing myself, I would probably try medicine if there was a chance but if I’d have to live so miserably, I would ask God to take me home. I feel for each and everyone of you here ! I don’t think anyone has a right or wrong answer in these cases. I do however also believe in our nature and agree with the lady that wrote about no dialysis and exercising, eating right etc to get the body healthy again. I would defin. do that, too before agreeing to go through this dialysis and blood transfusion that sucks you down every 2-3 days with no quality of life left. My oldest daughter is also a critical care nurse and believe me she is as I am very realistic. She too says one does not know in the case of my friend. So, we wait. But for how long? Will that hospital say she can no longer be cared there for and then what? Are these patients going into a care facility then or can her hubby take her home? I will keep praying for her to be healed, of course. I just am wondering. Thank you for reading my post and again: I’ll pray for all of you 🙂

  12. My husband is 32 years old and has been on dialysis for 11 years now. We have 2 young sons 9 &11. It makes me sad to see my husband change each day he is tired and weak, sometimes I am guilty of not understanding how he feels , I am happy that I’ve found this site it has opened my eyes to see I’m not the only one taking care of a sick spouse /family member. There are days when I fear what our lives hold ahead. Are there any young couples going trough hard times plesse share. Thank you all for sharing your stories.

  13. Glad to find this, have been searching for answers for what my father would experience now that he has decided to stop dialysis. His last treatment was 3 days ago and he is home on hospice now. He is at peace with his decision. He wants to spend his last days with his kids and grandkids instead of at a long term care facility. My dad has had heath problems due to uncontrolled diabetis for years. His kidneys started being severly affected several months ago. He has been doing dialysis 3 times a week for a month or more but was very unhappy and due to other health problems such as extremely low blood pressure lately decided to stop dialysis. I hope for at least a few more lucid days. He actually seems really good right now but a few nurse friends told me this is most likely his body “rallying”. Basically a calm before the storm. I just hope once he becomes less lucid that it happens quickly for the sake of his wife.

  14. My mum is 85 years old, we only found out recently her kidneys were damaged, last week she was rushed into hospital as she was so week her body temperature so low, since she has been in she had dialysis but it did not help, last Saturday they gave her a few days to live, she is still alive but sleeps most of the time, she is in no pain but it is heartbreaking for me and my siblings to watch her. We are with her a lot of the time but she only just above manages to say hello and then falls back to sleep. She today has some kind of white stuff on her lips which we don’t know what that is, her toxins have risen a lot and we are trying to get her into a hospice where she is more comfortable. She does not complain at all she just sleeps. She is a diabetic as well but she is on no medication now at all, except for an anti fitting tablet. Its so sad, we don’t know how long she really has left.

  15. Nick Cefalu says:

    I am 74 been having c.k.d. for over3 years, I am near the point of Dialysis, But speaking with my Doctors, it is a big chance.. I am still in fair health, but my other problem is the heart. I have had 5 bypass surgery and several stents. They say I need another stent or so. that will kill the Kidiney s all the way.
    then Dialysis, wow I just do not know. I do not want to be tied up, I would have to travel 75 miles one way 3x a week for it.;
    What would I be a Zombie?? Just don’t know. I still have a family, just Confused..

  16. My dad is 82 and has CKD; last check his kidneys were functioning 8% and he is refusing dialysis. My family is trying hard to respect his decision (my mom and my 2 sisters), but I admit it has been very hard. For the last week, my dad has been extremely ill. He’s been vomiting and has been experiencing pain in his back. He was hospitalized for a few days because it was thought he had a bowl obstruction. He is back home and he has been deteriorating each day. He is weak, not sleeping, still vomiting and experiencing many of the symptoms of the ‘end stages’. He knows his time is coming….for the first time he said to my mom tonight “it’s coming”. My dad is a strong, often stubborn man, but I honestly never thought my dad would admit out loud that his time is near. Breaks my heart! As I write this my heart hurts and my eyes fill with tears. I want so badly to make my dad better, but I feel so helpless. I want to do more than to just be there for him. I know death is a part of life and my family is trying to prepare for my father’s death…but is one ever fully prepared? My dad will go knowing that he is so very dearly loved by his family and he will be dearly missed and will also know that his family will lean on and support each other during what will be one of the most difficult times in our lives.

  17. My brother is 64 and 11 months. He is currently in hospice at the care facility that he’s been living in for the past eight months. At 61 he was living alone, and was diagnosed with ESRD, along with COPD, Not a very healthy guy, but fire in his veins. He underwent surgery to receive peritoneal dialysis. There were many episodes over the next couple years where he would have a fall, break a bone and be transported to the hospital via ambulance (of which he was somehow able to call 911, or one of his siblings!). His apartment had stairs, and we were trying to find him first level apartment when the last fall happened, ironically while retrieving his dialysis fluid at the bottom of the steps (he would not allow us to bring the boxes of fluid up to him, as he is very independent). Long story, shortened, he broke ribs, a scapula (2nd time in a year-the other one!), and had other contusions, but managed to crawl up the stairs and call 911. The next day is when I heard from him in the hospital. I went to see him, and he was in such sad shape that it scared me. Later that night, he had a mild stroke, then was moved to the CCU for 12 days. He was transferred after one month to a Skilled Nursing Facility (SNF) where he underwent more hell with under skilled staff and peritoneal dialysis. In early February 2015, he was admitted back to the hospital with peritonitis – very serious. He somehow pulled through that, and was transferred to a different facility after another one month stint in the hospital. In late March, he underwent another surgery to have a fistula placed in his arm to receive hemo-dialysis, which he never wanted, but he wanted to live, and most SNF’s are not equipped for PD patients. Miraculously, he pulled through the surgery and after effects of anesthesia. No quality of life, and many times during dialysis he would sign himself off early, or become so cantankerous that he would be taken off due to disturbing other patients with his loud complaining. He did fight hard every day. It was when swallowing food became an issue, along with his food having to be pureed that he really lost all interest. After a week in the hospital earlier this month, it was determined that his overall declining state of being was never going to improve. We made the tough decision to do hospice. I’m grieving as I write this, as I have been a main care taker in his last years of life. I hope this helps someone to know that dialysis can be a good thing, but the quality of one’s life is really what it’s all about. I put him in God’s hands. I wish for him peace, at last…

  18. Maricar Abad says:

    @ Katherine Bowen. . . .thank you for sharing.
    My granny stopped Dialysis and Im lookig for answers on how she is feeling now.
    Im sorry for your pain. I pray you will find your peace. . .eventually . . we all will have to go.
    God bless

    md.bookends@yahoo.com.ph

  19. Katherine bowen says:

    I just turned 31 yrs old, was born with a kidney disease called all’port syndrome.. Right before my 15th birthday. I had to have a kidney transplant, 4 yrs later, I had to start dialysis, first pd, then hemo, back to pd and now hemo again, my first dialysis port (in my arm) messed up. So they put one in my left, which now I’m having problems with, I don’t enjoy life, I wish that everyday will be my last, I feel like a burden to my family and I don’t hardly talk to friends anymore, I’ve tried stopping all the pain only for my mother to rush me to the hospital cuz I was dying, I have other health problems, but Drs can’t seem to find out way, I’ve been stuck, probed at etc sense I was four yrs old. I can barely do anything for myself cuz my body isn’t very strong, and family (mom bf,ect) think it’s because I’m just being lazy, they have no idea what I go through or how bad I hurt and I’m living in my own hell, winter is here and it’s by far the hardest on me, I’m ready to let go, I can’t bare the mental, emotional and physical pain anymore… I know some ppl say it’s not painful, but I know it will b for me… I just need someone to understand, what I’m going through and that I can’t keep on, this is not away anyone should have to live… I fought and fought but I no longer have the energy to fight anymore.. So anyone who’s family member feels the way I do, stand beside them through it and try to be understanding, cuz you really don’t understand how hard it is..

  20. LOST MY MOM TO KIDNEY FAILURE 15 months ago it was her decision not to do dialysis sounds like she made right decision I didn’t have to make it but its all hard still not at peace with all of it still looking for answers , reasons

  21. My step dad was on dialisis he also had high blood pressure he had dialisis for 12 yes he was doing great on dialysis until my mom passed he lost hope and eventually gave up to be with her but dialysis helped him live a good life

  22. My father is 68, he just did his first week of Dialysis. He has diabetes and ESRD. He just told the doctors and me that he doesn’t wish to continue Dialysis. I’m scared of what’s to come. I guess it’s time to make his last days as comfortable and dignified as possible. It’s crazy how fast life changes. A decade ago he was a strong man, and the past few years have taken it all away from him.

    Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. It’s touching to read. I feel your strength, and it gives me strength as well.

  23. My Father is 65 year old and he was diagonised for Kidney problem (Creatine level crossed 3) . We could able to postpone dialysis till last year. His creatine level reached 10.0, we started dialysis and he as recovering for the past 6 months. Recently , he had a block in his fistula and there after we could not find any Arteries to continue dialysis. So Doctors adviced him to be taken back to home –8day without dialysis as of 01-07-2015. He slowly stopped taking food and hence we have to stop all his life supporting medicine. He is always on bed and managing , 3 times a day, 50ml of fruit juice. Already 1 month passed after his last dialysis. Neighbours and well wishers are hoping for miracles for this recovery. But over the past week he has suffered a lot on bed. Me and Mother are with him supporting for one month. Now we have put a Hospice agent to take care of him in the morning. Everyday passes by with lot of Anxiety and uncertainity. Over the past weeks, me and my family are going through mixed feeling…. We are totally helpless as we cannot contiune any treatment at the same time we are seeing our father for another day. I dont know whether to curse or Thanks for this situation!!!.

  24. Pradyuman says:

    I am 35 and it’s been three months now. The renal failure has taken away my job, money and enthusiasm. I am on dailysis and hospital schedules is all I have now. It is pulling me away from my loved ones also. I think it’s better to leave now.

  25. My 73 year old mom decided no more dialysis. That was about a month ago. She was living in a nursing home for the last 7 years after suffering a stroke. In January of this year her kidneys failed and it was hospice or outpatient dialysis. She wanted to try it but it was all just too much. We tried to support her through the dialysis and encourage her but she finally wanted peace. We put her on hospice one week ago and brought her home. She hasn’t had dialysis in a full two weeks. She is in her last days. We are loving her right to the end, respecting her decision and wishing that life didn’t end this way, painfully. I keep reading that it is a “good death”. We are praying, singing praise songs, gentle touches, kisses and whispers of how much we love her. While this is hard for us, she has endured more and deserves the peace she seeks. She is a part of all of us. This is love.

  26. Today my husband was transferred to our local hospital after spending two months at a large teaching hospital where he received dialysis, two hear stints, pic lines, both of which hemorrhaged. Through all of it what alarmed me the most was that he was so mentally out of it. His cognitive function only improved after many blood transfusions. Tonight he was told his heart is only functioning at 30% capacity while still requiring dialysis every other day. Now an hours drive each way. I suspect that he will decide at some point to stop dialysis and let fate takeover. Bringing him home to the dogs would be perfect. There is only the two of us.

  27. Cindy Schmidler says:

    I applaud your selflessness in undergoing dialysis in support of your husband’s wishes. While I see untold evil in the world and often even in my own heart, I do believe the world was designed and created by God. I believe that he has revealed himself in creation and in the Bible. When I genuinely seek him I find answers as well as new questions, but I also find hope.

  28. I have ESRD (Stage 5) and have been on dialysis for 14 months. Fistulas are grotesque and dialysis is barbaric. When I was diagnosed at 63, I did not want to even start dialysis because I had needle phobia and was positive I would not be able to endure the treatment. My husband asked me to try so I could live a few more years with him. I am going to dialysis 3x/week for 4 hours a session so that I can exist for my husband. Should he pass before me, I will stop dialysis immediately following his death. I think about stopping it every week now as I do not have a satisfying life but an existence. I have other medical problems that I have to live with besides kidney disease so when I deteriorate to an unacceptable stage of existence and feel like a burden, I will stop dialysis and hopefully have what is called “a good death”. My daily thoughts are filled with dying with dignity and I am an agnostic searching for something to believe in. I was raised Catholic but discarded all Christian beliefs 40 years ago. I believe there are worse things than dying. There is so much suffering, pain, starvation, homelessness, war, murder, rape, overall evil in this world.

  29. Our mom just away a week ago, she had a congested heart failure which caused the renal failure and dialysis could not tolerated due to extreme low blood pressure and her right side of the heart was damage. We were told due to high risk the dialysis cannot be continued and we should take her home and give her comfort at home under hospice care. Her last dialysis was on March 30, 2015, we brought her home on April 3, 2015. All the family members got together to see her as she was coherent. She would getting tired and sleeping 18 hours to rest. She was very weak. As the Monday rolled around which was April 6 and now it 8 days gone bye since she hasn’t had dialysis but she was given very strong diuretics , she was getting weaker and she was not able to stay up or even sit up for more than 10 minutes in morning which use to be better times for her in past three days. As the evening continued her condition became worse she started to loose vision as the toxins started to build in her body. She became very restless she was administered very low dose morphine and Atavin to calm her but the whole night she was very restless. In the morning of Tuesday April April 7, she has become more restless as she cannot see, the nurse from hospice administered extra doses of morphine and Atavin to calm her to call and end the doctor decide to sedated her as she has become more more restless due to toxins build up in the system. The breathing pattern changed to 8-10 per minute which changed to 6-7 later. Later that night the doses were given as directed by hospice nurses and another sedative was given by hospice nurse at 11:30 pm and she passed away at Wednesday 3:30AM she only lived 10 days from her last dialysis. She has multiple factors Congested Heart Failure played a major role in renal failure and failure of the other organs. The doctors actually told us 3 weeks to 3 months but it was few days.

  30. Your father was a brave man, I not only respect but may even emulate his decision.
    I am going through his turmoil now and considering stopping dialysis.
    I am only 50.
    You all must understand that were it not for our families, certain types of us would never sit in that chair to begin with.
    It makes the decision difficult. We love you, we want to be with you, but it sucks to have to do a dialysis which might clean us enough to keep us alive, but never enough to feel much better, and life becomes waiting in between treatments, waiting coupled with the usual symptoms plus a perpetually sore arm.

  31. Sorry for your pain all that have made the choice,and I respect each and every one of your choices. My brother has lived with really bad diabetes a lot of his life, lost his leg,his eye sight has had strokes, he’s only 40, and this past year has been on dialysis.. Monday was his last session, he couldn’t take it anymore,it made things much much worse.. Today is Saturday and he has slept for 2 days now.. he is soo quiet and calm. I am glad he longer feels his pain, but just wish this journey to end for him. Peace to u all..

  32. Joanne Galante-Williams says:

    My dad was diagnosed with leukemia and acute kidney failure 3 days before Christmas. He has been on Dialysis and was receiving chemo at the same time. He last chemo session was 3 weeks ago and he was very weak so he decided to stop the treatment. His doctor told him it was up to him but his levels weren’t improving with the treatment. He has been continuing with his dialysis but he has been very tired and his blood levels are really low. He has been getting at blood transfusions on a weekly basis. He is in the hospital again and is considering having his dialysis stopped. I don’t want to lose my father but I also don’t want him to suffer. He hasn’t enjoyed life since this nightmare started in December. My mother is a mess and so are his children, there are 5 of us. How do you cope with losing an loved one.

  33. My Mom started dialysis a month ago. She’s always so tired and gets sick easily. I really wish she wouldn’t do dialysis because even though it IS keeping her alive, it’s not allowing her to live. I’d much rather her be at peace in Heaven than suffering in hell. I think she feels the same way but is afraid to die.

    Anyone else feel the same way?

  34. Eloisa James says:

    Hi. I’m glad I found this. Reassuring to know others have gone and are going through tnis. My mom’s 71. She’s been on dialysis for 13 years & been hospitalized since Dec (Had amputations, feeding tube and last night ). She told us she doesn’t want dialysis anymore. Hospital told us they can’t force her because she’s alert. I love her so much and it hurts me to see her in so much pain. I hadn’t thought of hospice, but I will share that with my family. I hope you are all doing well.

  35. its dec 18, 2014. im sitting in my moms nursing home room. she stopped dialysis today. shes been on it over 7 yrs. shes 75 now. we just lost my dad to lung cancer on halloween. i am scared. i just want mom to pass peacefully, but im scared since she is not passing urine, all the fluids will cause her to have a hard time breathing. so far, shes resting comfortably. i just wish i knew how long before she leaves us, and pray its while she sleeps.
    jenn mandy25@kent.net

  36. I thank all for their words. I feel sad for all of you. For you don’t know, what you don’t know… And in many of your cases, it’s too late in this life. Be thankful that God promises a resurrection of your loves ones.
    I am working with a very good friend (we’ve been friends for more than 10 years). She’s always been a hard worker and provided financial, emotional and spiritual support for her family. Now she’s on Dyalisus. In all my research, it goes back to a connection to the heart. She wants to come off that particular treatment, so the heart is where we will begin. Nourishing and strengthening that muscle…. Because after all, that’s what it is. The most important muscle in your body. I myself have a congestive heart failure diagnosis. I have chosen to treat the diagnosis as what it is. A picture of how I’m doing right now. Not the picture of who I will be next year. She wants to follow in my steps, so we will take this walk to a healthier fuller life, together over the next few years. The benefits far outweigh the sacrifices. I have given up everything I love to eat. She will too. I can’t have white wine, which I love a glass before bed. I must exercise in a way I haven’t since high school…. I hate it…. but I’m making myself learn to love it. (Btw I’m only 46).
    As a mother of 5 and grandmother of 3, I intend to live a much longer life with my friend walking beside me. We have both worked very hard in our lives as single parents and we DO NOT DESERVE to have an end such as the ones predicted by Doctors. I have done necessary testing and been told of the regimen they would prefer. Every piece of research I’ve read, points to premature demise following their recommendations; so against THAT ‘better judgement’ , we will eat and drink and supplement our ways back to health.
    My love and prayers are with everyone on this site. May Jehovah and His son Jesus keep you and your families in Their warm embrace, while you wait patiently on the return of your loved ones. I will be alive if it’s our fathers will, when that time comes, to greet mine.

  37. No one is alone n this world. I have found that if you r think,driving walking or going through a family sickness. Thefe is someone out there going through the same. I’m going through the same thing with my mother as I type this. 62 years old she has been going to dialysis for 6 years. Plus dealing with many other sicknesses . You just decided enough was enough . She has been sleeping constantly at home under the care of hospice and meds. With just hrs left to live. She has lived a life most women would never dream of .Rasin 4 of her own children and then raising 3 more grandchildren. She is an incredible woman and we will miss her when she leaves. Cherish wat time u have left if you are one of those people that driving ,walking or going through this time in life when you are about to loose a wonderful friend and mother . We love you and always will

  38. Yahaira Laboy says:

    Hello, im from Puerto Rico, and im going through the same thing, with my grandpa, his been dialisis for 5 yrs. His 83 yrs he used to be very energetic, provider, very hard worker, wonderful father, I was raised by my grandmother and him, always im currently living still with them, im 33 yrs, they have been there for me and I somehow have stayed with them, I work all the time, and come, home, I have no children of my own nor am I married, im single, anyways, my grandpa and I have always ben closed, we have our arguments, and stuff in the past, but since he went into dialisis, things have changed, anyway, my currently situation is the following, he decided to stop going to dialisis, and this situation is very devastating for us, specifically me, as per I was the one that takes him and picks him up, and have all this journey with him, I feel like his abandoning me, he has expressed his tired and exhausted , I can’t to see him like that, I don’t want him to suffer, that’s my main concern, his last treatment was on Monday, it been 6 days, already, im freaking out, my grandma is in resignation, and the rest of the family, I can’t seem to do that, I have hopes he will on Monday, I know he won’t… im scared, really scared 🙁

  39. I have lived 40 years with Crohn’s Disease. Nearly bled to death 3 or 4 times when i was 19 years old. Got a colostomy in 1975 ,21 years old. Then got real sick in 1998, Dr. had me on tons of meds three years. Ended up having colon and rectum out in 2001.Got Sepsis 5 days after the surgery,flatlined in ICU because a DR gave me Phenergan, which WAS on my hospital admissions paperwork as being Highly allergic to! Learned i had Peyronies Disease the first year after surgery. In 2011, i learned my kidneys were failing because my urethra and kidneys had been damaged in the 2001 surgery. I have been on dialysis 17 months, i have gone from 197 to 170. I get so sick and dizzy,weak every time i walk out of dialysis, i say everytime i am not coming back. I hate living alone like this. My wife of 30 years left me ,she said she wished she had never married a sick person…How do i get the courage up to stop dialysis.I am ready to go, just scarred of having Sepsis again,and being horribly sick like i have been so many years.

  40. Cindy Schmidler says:

    Thank you for sharing your post. We are so sorry for your loss and celebrate the way you honored your mother and provided sacrificial care. Many can learn from you on how to love others based on the way you loved your mom.

  41. Valerie McGriff says:

    My mom just passed away from many chronic illnesses. COPD, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart failure & kidney failure. My mom stated diaylisis for about a month. Dialysis made her sick and weak. I respected my moms wishes and brought her home with Hospice. My mom died 2 days later Sept 14,14 in peace with no pain. I understand what your going through. My prayers go out to those that have to go through this.

  42. Cindy Schmidler says:

    Even though she may not know what is happening, I’m sure she trusts your judgement and is very grateful for your care over the many years.

  43. mildred wise says:

    I comment on this as I am sitting in my mom’s hospice room. Using my cell phone so excuse the shorthand. I am currently going through the same thing. My mom started her dialysis journy 6 yrs ago at 65 after a aortic anyerisum surgery took the use of her kidneys. The surgery left het able to make her own decisions and we lost dad to cancer at the same time with 31 days notice of pancreatic cancer. We have taken turns caring for mom ( 3 girls ) and it’s gotten to The point that her doctor said her quality of life decision needs to be decided. So 3 days ago in a closed room we sided with the doctor. I hope it’s as easy on her as it wad your dad. The fact that she won’t know what happening bothers me the most. Thank you for your post. I hope to find more with details. I wonder about the process and people like you fill my thoughts while I’m watching her sleep. It reminds me there are others.

Speak Your Mind

*